Status Update
by TheBigCat
Summary: In which there is a sleepover party, sword fights, pizza, and lots of terrible puns.


_A lot of people requested a sequel to 'Eight Friends Calvin Found In The Underground'. I'm not sure what this is, or what it's doing on my fanfiction account, but it is a sequel, of sorts. I hope you enjoy it! (Slight spoilers for Homestuck, but nothing too major, because seriously Dirk has got his head chopped off several times and nobody should be surprised by this by now)_

 _I'm not sure if I'll do any more, this is just a side thing for me :P_

 _Also, I apologize for being absent from fanfiction for ages! I'll probably be getting back into writing soon enough. Stay tuned!_

 _~Kitty_

* * *

 ** _STATUS UPDATE_**

* * *

 **ALPHYS updated status:**

movie night with the gang! ^-^ can't wait

 **»» BoyOfDestiny, StrongFish91, Hobbs, MettatonOfficial and CoolSkeleton95 liked this.**

* * *

"Hey, Mom," said Calvin, pulling on his jacket and checking his watch. "Hobbes and I are going to hang out with some friends."

Mom hummed under her breath in agreement, not really hearing him. "That's nice, dear."

"Cool," said Calvin happily, tucking Hobbes under his arm and pushing open the door. "See you later-"

"Wait, what?" she said, looking up from the vegetables she was chopping. " _Where_ are you going?"

Calvin scowled. "We're going to watch a movie with some friends," he repeated.

"You have friends?" exclaimed Mom in shock, and frowned. "Does this have anything to do with that week when you completely disappeared from all human civilisation and when you came back, all those monsters were mysteriously freed from the Underground?"

"Um, no," said Calvin, entirely unconvincingly, inching towards the door.

There was a pause, and then Mom sighed. "Okay, fine. You can go, but be back before eight."

"But we were going to have a sleepover!" Calvin complained, picking up the flowerpot with the single yellow flower in it that he seemed to always bring with him everywhere.

"A sleepover?" she muttered under her breath. "Brilliant." Then, a bit louder. "Can your, um, friend's parents cook?"

Calvin thought for a second, then shrugged. "Yeah! Well, Toriel can, anyway… and Undyne showed me how to!" He bounced on the toes of his feet. "I think Papyrus is making spaghetti!"

("Oh, great," sighed Hobbes. "Disaster time.")

Mom didn't hear him. "I guess that's okay, then. Have fun."

"We will!" cheered Calvin, cheerfully dragging Hobbes out the door. "Undyne promised to suplex me this time!"

Mom watched him go.

"Calvin," she called. "Wait a second. Why are you bringing that flowerpot with you?"

"Because he needs to get out more," Calvin replied. "He's been playing video games on repeat for the last week and he hasn't socialized in ages."

Mom looked at the flowerpot. "Um," she said, trying to ignore the fact that the little yellow flower appeared to be glaring at her. "That's nice, sweetie."

"Bye!" Calvin chirped, and the door slammed shut behind him.

Mom stared at it for a second.

"I suppose it's good that he's making friends his age," she said to herself dubiously, and went back to chopping vegetables.

* * *

 **snas updated status:**

boyofdestiny hey

 **» BoyOfDestiny commented:** Yeah?

 **» snas commented:** is your refrigerator running

 **» Hobbs commented:** Oh god not this again

 **» BoyOfDestiny commented:** YES it is :)

 **» snas commented:** so is ours. we can have a race.

 **»» Toriel and BoyOfDestiny liked this**

* * *

"MY HUMAN FRIEND!" screamed Papyrus as soon as Calvin and Hobbes reached Alphys and Undyne's house, reaching all the way down to pick Calvin up and swing him around, nearly colliding with the doorframe in the process. Calvin put down Flowey's pot just in time, so that the flower wouldn't go soaring across the yard.

" _Hey_ ," Hobbes grumbled lightly, crossing his arms. "Who am I, the next door neighbour?"

"NO, YOU LIVE ABOUT TWO STREETS AWAY FROM US," Papyrus pointed out, but dropped Calvin onto his shoulders so he could hug the tiger as well.

"hey."

Calvin looked down to see that Sans had mysteriously arrived, and was now grinning up at them all. He gave the smaller skeleton a matching grin and a thumbs-up. "Ready to party!"

"same here, kiddo." He turned to Hobbes. "i got a new one for you."

"Oh, great," Hobbes said, rolling his eyes. "Go on. It can't be any worse than the one about the puma and the-"

"why don't tigers ever play poker?"

Hobbes seriously thought about it for a second. "Well… I guess it's because I've never learned to play. I mean, I guess I could if I wanted to, but-"

"it's because if they do, they turn into cheetahs."

Hobbes closed his eyes and groaned. "That was terrible. You're terrible."

"I SHALL PRETEND I DIDN'T HEAR THAT EXCHANGE," Papyrus sniffed, turning on his heel, and he stalked into the house with Calvin holding tightly to his scarf to prevent himself from falling off.

Sans glanced down casually at Flowey, who was sulking in his pot. "you planning on causing any trouble tonight?"

"Hail Satan," snapped the flower.

"thought not," said Sans, and scooped the flowerpot up, carrying it into the house.

* * *

 **ALPHYS posted a picture:**

 **[a blur of yellow in the background, with a trash can in focus]**

 **[caption:** hanging out with my people!]

 **»» CoolSkeleton95 and BoyOfDestiny liked this**

 **» StrongFish91 commented:** ALPHYS GET OUT OF THE TRASH CAN! WE HAVE VISITORS!

 **» Hobbs commented:** Don't worry, we can all join her. It's where we belong anyway :)

 **» StrongFish91 commented:** OH MY GOD!? WHY?

* * *

Toriel knocked on the door, but nobody answered.

She listened carefully.

Inside were the vague noises of screaming and crashing, interspaced by giggles and laughter.

She pushed the door open.

* * *

 **Hobbs posted a picture:**

 **[Hobbes, Calvin, and Alphys are all crammed underneath a desk, beaming at the camera. Calvin is hugging the trash can enthusiastically. Flowey is slightly out of shot, scowling and refusing to look at the camera.]**

 **[caption:** Team Trash unite! **]**

 **»» ALPHYS, Hobbs, snas and BoyOfDestiny liked this**

 **» StrongFish91 commented:** UGHHHH! THAT'S IT!

* * *

 **StrongFish91 posted a picture:**

 **[Undyne is suplexing Papyrus whilst standing on a table. Flowey is clutched in Papyrus's hands, screaming . Papyrus appears to be having the time of his life.]**

 **[caption:** TEAM HERO UNITE! NGAAAAAHH! **]**

 **»» ALPHYS and CoolSkeleton95 liked this**

* * *

 **snas posted a picture:**

 **[Alphys is sitting next to Sans, wearing a lab coat and grinning at the camera bashfully. Sans is wearing a t-shirt that reads: 'DON'T TRUST ATOMS. THEY MAKE UP EVERYTHING' and giving the camera a cheerful thumbs-up.]**

 **[caption:** team science, unite. we meet up periodically.]

 **»» BoyOfDestiny, Toriel, and ALPHYS liked this**

 **» CoolSkeleton95 commented:** YOUR JOKES ARE GETTING WORSE AND WORSE!

 **» snas commented:** yep. isn't it great?

 **» CoolSkeleton95 commented:** NO! IT'S TERRIBLE! THIS IS PRACTICALLY A FORM OF PUNISHMENT!

 **» BoyOfDestiny commented:** Don't you mean… _pun_ -ishment?

 **» CoolSkeleton95 commented:** AHHHHHHHHHHH!

* * *

"Movie time!" Calvin cheered, taking a running leap onto the couch. Hobbes followed at a more sedate pace

The rest of the monsters (minus Toriel, who had hijacked the kitchen and pushed Papyrus and Undyne out, much to their dismay) crowded around the television.

"What are we watching?" Hobbes asked.

Alphys flapped her hands around excitedly. "Ooh! Well, CalvinandIwantedtowatchMewMewKissyCutiebut-"

"Slow down," Undyne laughed, elbowing her girlfriend playfully in the side.

Alphys blushed. "Um. Well. We were going to watch the n-new episodes of _Mew Mew Kissy Cutie_ , but then we realized that you guys… probably… wouldn't w-want to watch it. So, um, we decided on a human movie? Calvin says it's a classic, but, um…"

"Yeah!" Calvin said. "It's called _The Princess Bride!_ "

"It's a good movie," interjected Hobbes. "There's romance-"

"Ooh," said Alphys.

"-sword fights-"

" _Ooh,_ " said Undyne and Papyrus.

"-bad jokes-"

"ooh," said Sans.

"-and giant rats!"

That last remark was met by a flat silence from everyone for a moment, but then Flowey cleared his throat.

"That sound stupid," he announced loudly.

Calvin leaned over the side of the sofa and grinned at him. "Say it."

"Screw you, no," the flower retorted.

"Sayyyy iiiit," he sang.

"Go die in a hole."

"Sayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-"

"Fine!" Flowey snapped, and rolled his eyes. " _It sounds pretty good,_ actually," he admitted reluctantly.

Calvin leaned back, satisfied.

"Now can we watch the movie?" Hobbes asked.

* * *

 **BoyOfDestiny posted a picture:**

 **[Undyne and Calvin are locked in a furious swordfight while Alphys weakly tries to keep them apart. Undyne is using a spear as a makeshift sword, and Calvin has borrowed one of Papyrus's bones.]**

 **[caption:** MY NAME IS CALVIN, BOY OF DESTINY. YOU KILLED MY TIGER. PREPARE TO DIE! **]**

 **»» StrongFish91, CoolSkeleton95 and Toriel liked this**

 **» Toriel commented:** It looks as if you all are having fun! Just remember to stay safe, and I will call you into the kitchen when dinner is ready! ]:-)

 **» CoolSkeleton95 commented:** DEATH CANNOT POSTPOSE TRUE LOVE OF PASTA, JUST POSTPONE IT FOR A WHILE!

 **» StrongFish91 commented:** INCONCEIVABLE!

 **» Hobbs commented:** …just for reference, I'm still alive…

* * *

Toriel had managed to produce a large variety of surprisingly good pizza that everyone practically fell on upon entering the dining room. Within minutes, the room was filled with the happy buzz of chattering people.

"Did you see the update?" Calvin asked eagerly through a slice of pizza, turning to Alphys. Her eyes widened, and she began to beam.

"[S] Collide, y-you mean? Yeah!"

"Dirkcapitation," Calvin said.

"Dirkcaptiation," Alphys agreed, but then frowned. "I really hope he's all right? I mean, that c-could have been possibly taken as a h-heroic death, since he agreed to being beheaded? I guess?"

"Yeah, but Dave knows what he's doing," Calvin countered. "Terezi too, sometimes. I hope." He shrugged. "I mean, if I had to get my head cut off by anyone, I'd choose her and Dave over, say, Vriska or somebody."

"That's n-not exactly reassuring," sighed Alphys.

Across the table, Hobbes and Sans were trading memes, and Toriel, Papyrus, and Undyne were engaged in a furious three-way debate about cooking pasta that looked as if it were going to make the table explode.

Flowey was still sulking in the corner, but was occasionally nibbling at a slice of pizza.

* * *

 **Hobbs updated status:**

Why isn't MettatonOfficial here tonight? Thought he was coming :(

 **» ALPHYS commented:** He's filming his next movie at the moment :(

 **» CoolSkeleton95 commented:** I HAVE HEARD EXCELLENT THINGS ABOUT THE SCRIPT!

 **» Toriel commented:** Please, stop texting at the table during dinner! We are all next to each other, surely we can interact?

 **» Hobbs commented:** Technically, you've texting at the table too?

 **» Toriel commented:** I am the queen. Kindly refrain from making such comments.

* * *

After dinner, everyone gathered around for a pathetically clichéd game of Truth or Dare, in which multiple things happened- including Toriel putting on a pair of human socks (scandalous!), Calvin somehow managing to turn invisible, of all things, and Sans doing one pushup, after which he lay on the floor for half an hour, claiming that it had all been far too strenuous for him and he was done.

And then Hobbes made the mistake of suggesting Twister, which he had, for some reason, brought along.

Needless to say, everyone ended up tangled in a messy heap, screaming about several things and socks. Sans was probably the only one who got out of it, citing his lack of strength and general laziness as the reason.

* * *

 **snas shared a link-**

CoolSkeleton95 check out this neat video

 **»» ALPHYS, BoyOfDestiny and Hobbs liked this**

 **» CoolSkeleton95 commented:** WHY, BROTHER, HOW SWEET! I WILL NEVER GIVE YOU UP EITHER!

 **» Hobbs commented:**...

* * *

"Azzy?"

Silence.

"Azzy, are you awake?" Calvin tried again, rolling out of his sleeping bag and reaching out for the small flowerpot sitting in the corner of the room.

"Stop calling me that," Flowey snapped. He was facing the wall, stem bent forwards. "I've _told_ you, my name's Flowey."

"Asriel…"

"Call me that one more time and I'll snap your pathetic snivelling human neck so quickly you won't have time to scream," the flower hissed.

Calvin retreated a bit.

"You _are_ having fun, though," he said. "I saw you. You were laughing."

"Calvin, I don't have a soul," Flowey sighed. "And I don't even mean that figuratively. I literally. Can't. Feel. Emotion. Why can't you get that through your thick skull?"

"That doesn't mean you can't have fun," Calvin said, staring at the flower in the darkness.

The flower didn't say anything, so Calvin crawled back to his sleeping bag.

"Hey," said Flowey after a moment, with a lot less venom than before. "…do you want to finish off that level of Portal 2 tomorrow?"

Calvin grinned up at the ceiling. "Sure."

"Cool," said Flowey, and paused. "But I get to play as Atlas!" he added.

"Fine."

"And if you mess up again, I'll snap your neck. Like I said!"

"Fine."

"…and your life is inevitably coasting towards a downwards spiral that'll only get worse as you age, eventually culminating in your equally inevitable death."

"I'm not exactly fine with that, but I'm just going to ignore you now."

"Fine!" Flowey snapped, and spun on his stalk, huddling into a little ball of angst and leaves.

"G'night, Azzy," Calvin yawned.

Flowey grumbled, but didn't object to the nickname this time.

Calvin smiled again, and turned over, intending to go to sleep properly.

 _Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft,_ said the whoopee cushion that had suddenly and inexplicably appeared on his pillow

Calvin's eyes shot open in a flash. " _Sans._ "

Sans, to his right, let out a loud and rather unconvincing snore, which was more-or-less ruined by the fact that he was grinning practically wide enough to split his bony face in half.

Calvin rolled his eyes, and went to sleep.

* * *

 _finis_


End file.
